


Seeking Control

by gabeybaby



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Asexual Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Josh lives AU, M/M, Slow Burn, Violence, medical drug use, sole survivor chris
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-19 12:44:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4746911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabeybaby/pseuds/gabeybaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sole Survivor Chris Ending + Still Alive Josh</p><p>What happens when the last two survivors meet once again?<br/>How will they react?<br/>What will happen between the two of them?<br/>Will they ever be able to recover from the "incident" on Blackwood Pines?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Night Terrors

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So quick warning, there is a bit of violence in this first chapter but after this I don't think that there will be a whole lot more.. I hope you stick around to read more!

Water, screeching, thrashed.

That was the last thing Josh remembered before everything went dark in the hands of a windigo. He thought for sure he wouldn’t wake up, even saw everything flash before his eyes.. But there he was, laying in a pile of bones in the middle of a cave. Exactly what he needed right now.

 

Josh slowly lifted himself up with a groan, a cramp in his neck making it hard for him to lift it very high. He had to refrain himself from making too much noise now, seeing as there could be one of those creatures around any corner. He couldn't see very much of himself now, but he could tell there were bruises and cuts across his body. Some of them from his "friends" other from being dragged across the ground like a rag doll for who knows how long. 

\--

It seemed like he was walking for hours, the underground cave just continuing on and on.. He knew it was probably useless trying to call out for anyone, and that death was coming for him soon.. But Josh Washington wasn't about to sit down and let those monsters get at him. No, he was determined to fight his ass back into the sunlight and hopefully see the rest of his friends.. Or what was left of them.

 

"JOSH."

A voice boomed from behind him, all too familiar to him. He winced and slowly turned his head to see, afraid to see what his mind had created this time.

 

"I tried to save you, and you let me DIE. I thought we were friends, Josh.. But you're just a coward. A dirty coward."

The blond man behind him yelled. His neck and chest were coated with blood, glasses cracked and broken.

 

"Chris.. No. Y-You're alive! You have to be!"

Josh let out in a hoarse tone, tears slowly rolling onto his face.

"I am so. sorry, Chris. I didn't mean for any of this to happen! You have to believe me!"

His voice cracked, a hiss erupting from the darkness. Shit.

 

"No, Josh. I don't want to hear this anymore. You did this to me. If it wasn't for you, I'd be alive, and so would everyone else. We'd all be here."

Chris' voice turned into multiple, as each member of the group stood out one by one. Each displaying their gore and injuries, all crowding around him, growing loader and louder. Only made quiet by the piercing screech of a windigo.

Josh squeezed his eyes closed and stood tall, holding in his breath as much as he could to make everything stop and the violent images to leave his head. Maybe previous therapy sessions actually did help him with some things.. But there was one sound that wouldn't leave, and as soon as he opened his eyes, he realized that he was nose to nose with a monster, and fear wasn't going to let him move until that thing was gone.

It took a while for the creature to lose interest in Josh and creep away, but the only thing that help Josh's focus was that tattoo.. The same as Hannah used to. No. No no no. He couldn't start to think about this now. He had to keep moving out of the cave.

\-- 

Hours pass. Josh was tired, hungry, weak.. It even started to get harder to walk, and that he was spending more time crawling on the ground than actually standing.. 

Too tired.

But out of the corner of his eye, he saw a light, heard voices.. Unfamiliar voices yelling his name.

But everything went black again before he could see their faces..

~~~~~~~~~~

"And Josh?"

The security guard asked, growing more cautious with their conversation.

Chris perked up a bit at the name, silently praying for any news on any one of his friends.

"..What about him?"

"We haven't  recovered his body."

Chris pursed his lips, staring into the guards camera, he was starting to get tired of getting asked every little detail about what happened.. Especially since there was no one else they could hear about it from.

"But we still have one search party left in those mines.. Last thing we heard was that they found new evidence. If they find anything.. You'll know."

 

"Thanks.. Just- Don't call me again if they only find his body.. I don't need any more bad news."

"Sure thing, Chris.. Just go home and get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a better day."


	2. A New Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh and Chris both face new scenarios, both are equally worried about what'll happen next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I got a lot of nice feedback on the last chapter, thank you all so much for reading!! I hope you enjoy what I have in store!

No one could believe Chris on what happened on the mountain that night. Even though he made some convincing points, there was no way to actually confirm them all. And since most of the search groups suffered injuries or disappeared, the forest ranger station decided it was too dangerous to keep sending out people to look for evidence. So instead, they kept asking Chris different questions and hoping for different answers, or even a new story completely.

It was pretty tiring for him, being called back into the detective's office almost every day to retell the story of how that night completely changed his life. But it was just what he had to do to get a single answer about what happened to the rest of the group.

Today's call however, seemed different than before. The officer he spoke with seemed to have more life than before, and since he told them not to call back if they only brought bad news, he certainly felt a spark of excitement as well.

"Chris?"

The voice asked after a moment, curious and buzzing.

"Speaking, what's new?"

He answered as he started to walk back to his room, the legs of his pajama pants gently sweeping the ground.

"They found him."

 

His body froze. After Mike got away from Josh when the windigo attacked them, Chris was sure there was no way Josh could've lived.. No way at all.

"Shit.. I'll be there in ten minutes, maybe less."

And with that, Chris sprang to life, rushing to his dresser to put on a fresh set of clothes to get ready to head to the station once again. This time, a spring in his step. He quickly cleaned himself up and played with his hair until he was happy with it, and then he was off to his car.

Chris arrived at the station and was immediately escorted back into the interrogation room, instead of waiting in the lobby. It was a bit strange for him, but he was thankful none the less.

"He's gonna make it, Chris. Doctors are saying that everything will heal properly." The officer smiled at him, passing over the medical report and the photo of him sleeping peacefully in his hospital bed.

"Josh.. I can't believe How did they get to him? I thought they said he was too far down in there to reach?" Chris asked, clutching the report close as his eyes landed back on the officer.

"Well, the search party didn't have to go very far in this time to find him, and it looks like your friend Josh put up a real fighting effort to get out of there."

The officer answered with a smile and took a step closer to Chris.

"But, once he recovers he will have to be heavily monitored by someone. We've already tried to get a hold of his parents, but they aren't doing anything to help pick him up.. Probably scared of what happened."

"Really..? I would've thought they'd rush at the chance to get him home? He's gone through enough already.." Chris furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the next page of the report.

"We did too, but all he has is his medical insurance, and once that runs out, he's got nothing to his name. Technically he's old enough to live on his own, but with everything that's happened.. We're worried."

"That's understandable.. But you can't just send him off to live with some random caretaker. He probably doesn't even know that this is happening." Chris closed the folder quickly, worry spreading throughout his chest.

"Chris.. I don't know if you want to take this up, and it wouldn't be soon, but I know that you could qualify to take him in."

"I actually-"

"Now I know that there certainly are reasons why you wouldn't want him to live with you.. But you know him better than anyone else does. He trusts you." The officer explained, putting her hand on Chris' shoulder.

"I- I actually might be interested in that. But I want to see him at the hospital when they take visitors, no one else with me. I need to talk with him, alone." Chris answered with a nod, taking a deep breath.

The officer thought about the deal for a moment, keeping a close watch on Chris. "We have a deal, I'll try to set you up with a visitors pass tomorrow afternoon. I know you probably have a lot to talk about."

"Thank you.. Thank you so much, for everything."

Chris smiled softly and went in to hug the officer, standing there awkwardly for a moment before they both separated and Chris made his way out of the building.

He let out a sigh of relief as he sat down in his car, examining the photo once more before starting the engine up and heading back home. Worry and excitement both flooding his system.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The next thing Josh could remember was the bright lights of the hospital. He remembered opening his eyes and seeing a nurse looming over him. He usually would've been concerned about the situation he was in, if only the bed weren't so comfortable.. 

"Josh.. Washington?" He asked, reading off of his clipboard. 

"Yeah, as alive as I'll ever be." He looked up at him, wiggling under the covers a bit to get comfortable.

"My name is Andrew, I'll be taking care of you while you recover here. I'll stop by every once and a while to make sure you're okay. If you need anything, just press the button to your left." 

"Thanks.. Do you know how long I'm gonna be stuck in here? Do you know what happened to the rest of us?"

Josh asked, raising an eyebrow at the man.

"No..? Not yet at least. But, I do know what happened to you. Or what they're saying at least." 

Andrew answered, placing his clipboard down and leaving the room momentarily to grab his cart.

"So, for today I'll need you to take these three pills. The first one is for pain, second is an antidepressant, third will help stay hydrated throughout the day."

Andrew pulled out a little container and placed it on the table beside his bed.

"Pills..? I-I can't do that."

Josh looked down at the pills, then back at Andrew, a look of sheer terror showing on his face.

"Huh? Why not..? Is there something wrong?"

"I just, I can't _take_ them. I can't depend on them anymore."

Josh shook his head and sat up slowly.

"Hey, hey hey.. You can't get up just yet. You still have a lot of damage you need to heal up.. Just relax, everything's okay."

Andrew took the pills back and helped him lay back down, Josh wincing a bit through out.

"Okay.. Just, please don't make me take them. Not the depression one anyways, that one fucks up my brain. I can't think straight on it."

Josh watched as he started to push the cart out of the room, feeling the tense situation starting to lighten up.

"I'll see what I can do, Josh. We'll figure something out together."

Andrew smiled and closed the door, leaving Josh alone in the cold silence of his room.

 

This was going to be a long stay..


	3. The Lucky Ones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris visits Josh in the hospital, result's end up different than what they imagined.

"Josh..? You have a visitor." Andrew called out from the doorway, slowly opening it for the other to get inside.

"Mhmph.. Five more minutes.."

The man rolled around in his sheets, twisting and turning to try to relax again. He admittedly slept pretty well the night before, but now, it was all he felt like doing in the blank room.

"Josh?"

This time, the voice only sounding hauntingly familiar. He opened his eyes quickly to look up at the new presence in his room, Chris' figure catching his eyes quickly. And although he had to blink a couple times to see whether or not this was just another trick, this Chris seemed a lot like the one he once knew, except with a couple new scars. Almost like everything was the way it was before anything ever happened.

Josh sat up quickly and kept his eyes on Chris, like a deer in the headlights, lost on whether he should be afraid or overjoyed by his visit.

"Chris.. I-It's so nice to see you again. Finally somebody I've actually seen before.." He answered quietly, guilt and anxiety slipping in through the cracks of his words.

"Yeah, you too. I'm glad to see you're doing better." Chris smiled sadly, he really was happy to see Josh recovering, but he knew things could never really return to the same as before, even though he secretly hoped they would.

"Man, I didn't think anybody would show up.. I mean, I kind of knew that no one would really want to. But, it's still a pleasant surprise." Josh tried to smile and joke with him, but things just didn't feel right.

"Josh.. Did anyone tell you..?" Chris took a deep breath and sat down on a stool next to his bed, letting the door close behind him. He was mentally preparing for the news, but now that the moment came.. He wasn't sure anymore.

"Tell me what? ..What happened?" Josh answered a little quieter, his heart rate picking up with worry. Chris was silent, and after a couple moments of silence, he dropped his head even more. Josh's mind was going two hundred miles an hour just trying to figure out what he was trying to hide from him, until he thought up a nightmare that he hoped to god didn't actually happen.

"Chris.. Tell me, I'm freaking out over here, man.-"

"They're gone, Josh. It's only me now." Chris finally answered, clutching his hands together, his voice attempting to be as low as it could get.

"No.. Fuck, Chris. I-I didn't mean for this to happen. I swear! I-I just wanted to play a stupid joke, not- not have all this happen."

Josh clutched his hands onto the sheets, fear striking deep into his core. He didn't know what to do, he was terrified and practically frozen in his spot.

"Please, Chris you have to believe me.. I didn't want this. Please, please-"

"I know.. I know. It'll be okay Josh, I promise. We'll both get through this, we just have to rely on each other for support, help each other out. Right?" Chris knew it wasn't going to be that simple, not at all. But he was going to be there for his friend regardless, he couldn't give up on him now.

"R-Right. Okay. I trust you, even if you don't trust me completely anymore." He nodded, taking in a deep breath. "I just want things to be okay again."

"I do too." Chris looked around his room for a moment, noticing the small cup with today's pills in the bottom. "But for today, we have to start working you back on a couple prescriptions."

"I would.. But I can't tell if they're the ones that fuck me up yet. I'm scared to even try." Josh huffed out a little sigh, sitting up a little more to look at them.

"What're they called..? I could probably read off the side effects before you take them." Chris asked, pulling out his phone and unlocking it quickly.

"Zoloft I think.. I forget the old one's name though. Mom signed that one for that one too long ago for me to really remember." Josh took the little cup and picked out a capsule, examining it for a little while while Chris searched around the web.

"Looks like that one usually caused Insomnia.. Fatigue.. Nausea, no migraines though. I know you didn't like the other ones because of that." Chris looked up at him and shrugged his shoulders. "Sounds alright to me.. But it's up to you and whether you want to take it or not."

The dark haired man looked over at Chris, seeking comfort in his eyes, then back at the pill. He was nervous, but he had to trust him and try to redeem himself to his friend. He reached over carefully and grabbed his glass of water, then shakily placing the pill into his mouth and downing it quickly, just wanting to get it over with.

"Wow.. Good job man. I'm proud of you." Chris smiled softly and patted his shoulder gently. "You're already on the track to recovery, and I'm sure your nurse will be happy about it too."

"Thanks.. You're a lifesaver man. One more day in here without any other interaction would've messed me up pretty bad." Josh smiled back and carefully set down his glass. Even if he was still anxious about the effects of the new prescription, at least he now knew that Chris would be there if something bad were to happen.

"Man, I don't want to leave you just yet.. But your really should try to get some more rest, let everything heal up better." Chris let out a little sigh and started to pick himself up, much to Josh's distaste.

"Wait--"

Josh responded quickly, reaching his hand out to try to get him to sit down again. "Just wait until I fall asleep at least? I'm not good with being alone in this room while I try to fall asleep, it scares me." Josh explained embarrassed, moving his hand back just in case he was going to leave anyways.

"Oh.. Alright. I understand, just let me know if you need anything." Chris nodded, taking a seat once again and placing his hand on the edge of Josh's bed. Josh ended up slowly scooting closer to Chris and linking their hands together, taking the moment he needed to relax in the comfort of the other. It was all he really wanted right now, to be in the company of someone who actually tried to understand what he was going through, even if he had all the right reasons not to.

Even if things weren't as easy as either hoped, they both were still willing to try to pull each other's lives together again. Even if that took a while to get right.

Chris ended up staying until visiting hours had ended, staying close by Josh for most of the time, making sure he was alright, being there for the moments when he'd wake up for couple seconds, then drift back to sleep again, and many other little things he did that previously Chris hadn't even thought of.

But it was a nice time for him to think, and he wouldn't have given up that opportunity for anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I'm so excited that people actually like this.. I'm sorry if my writing is a bit sloppy, I'm working my way back into writing and this is my first revival fic, but still! Thank you all! *-*


	4. Needed Talk

Everything seemed to be going okay for a while with Josh, his recovery was going fairly well, and after a while he could actually walk again. Since then, he'd been visiting with a therapist, a nice woman named Mrs. Thompson that listened and thankfully bared no resemblance to any past ones. Chris visited him every other day after his new job at the local comic store. It was a comfortable routine for Josh, all until he realized something wasn't right. 

His parents never came for him.

The thought of it alone made Josh's blood cold. His own parents didn't want to be near him after what he did.. Josh knew now that he was wrong in his ways, but that didn't mean that others would be so quick to forgive him, especially after having a body count.

"How does it make you feel, that they don't want to come in?" Mrs. Thompson asked, her eyes focused on him as he thought.

"Sad, I guess. I don't really blame them.. I wouldn't want to visit me either with everything I've done." Josh smiled sadly, shaking his head for a moment. 

"You've gone through difficult times, Josh.. You can't blame yourself for everything that happened." She responded, leaning in on her table to try to express the importance of her point. 

"But I do. I do, and there's nothing that will really stop me from doing so." Josh's voice shook with hidden emotion, the walls he built around the subject slowly crumbling down. "All of my friends are dead because I-I thought I wanted revenge. None of this would've happened if I didn't get drunk that nignt." He started looking down at the desk, not wanting to make eye contact with her as tears began to form in his eyes.

"There's nothing you could've done.. What happened to them was a freak accident, and as horrible and terrifying as it was, you weren't responsible for their deaths." She furrowed her eyebrows, trying to get a grip on the man before he slipped into darkness again.

"I don't know how much longer I can do this.. Everything just hurts again." Josh evaded answering, making himself as small as possible in the chair and bottling his emotions as best as he could for the time being.

"Josh, the only way that you will be able to survive all of this in one piece is if we work through it all and get you to a point where you can find a little peace and comfort in your life again. I'm sorry that this is rough on you, and I know it's difficult to really talk about," Mrs. Thompson paused, Josh listening in but not showing much reaction to it.

"But it's something that you willingly signed up for because it was in your best interest. You've already shown me that you want to get help, but t" She placed her hand gently on his shoulder, Josh looking up at her slowly as tears ran down his cheeks.

"I- I don't know what to say.. After all of this it's been hard to really catch a grip on stuff, y'know? Everything is just kinda jumbled like a bad dream," He paused, thinking on what to say that would make things clearer for her to understand.

"You've helped me a lot, is what I'm trying to say. I know that there's still more to go, a-and I'm sorry for being difficult sometimes.. but thank you. Honestly." 

"Josh.. You're very welcome for all of this. I know you've been through way too much for your age, but everything is gonna be okay from here on out. You're going to have rough days, but that's okay. I believe in you."

All Josh could do was smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! I know, it's been forever since you saw me. school really got me down and i've been working on other projects, but i am back to work onthis for a bit! i know it's a short chapter, but i just have to ease my way back in to this. thank you so much for the support, and i hope to hear back from you on if you like it :)

**Author's Note:**

> Wow! Thank you for reading!! If you liked what you read, please leave a comment or some criticism or whatever you'd like~! I hope you stick around to see where I go with this! ^-^


End file.
